I AM NOT A CROOK

Many of you already know, I travel roughly once a month for work. I go, look pretty, smile hard, and try to charm doctors into buying more than they originally thought they wanted. It's something I've helped my job grow into, and has turned out to be financially rewarding for my boss and personally rewarding for me.

For each trip, I usually end up buying me something new to wear. That's my "bonus" to myself for the 15 to 20-hour work days. On my last trip, I whipped out a pair of pants I bought a few weeks before. When I arrived at the hotel with my traveling companion and co-worker, Amy, I started hanging up my clothes. Imagine my dismay when I felt a lump at the base of my new black pants. The dang things still had the light tan electronic do-dad pinned to the ankle of one leg! I don't know how on Earth I (ad the sales clerk) missed it.

I had no other options to wear. When we travel, it is encouraged that we do not check our luggage, everything has to fit in our carry-on bags. I had packed exactly enough for me to 1. wear a work dress that evening for a 3-hour student lecture and 2. the shirt/pant combo for the next day.

Amy got onto her phone web browser, and we called the help number for EXPRESS (ooops, did I name drop?). The cute customer service rep that answered listened to my dilemma, and when I asked if there was some secret to prying that watchacallit off, she seriously told me, "Ma'am, I don't recommend doing that, because there is a sharp pin that could hurt you." Ohhhh, a sharp pin! Save me! Who am I? Sleeping Beauty to be afraid of a pin? Seriously, even I know I shouldn't even consider trying to pry the tag off because it might rip the pants that I paid ***ahem, blush*** full price for.

I told her I was actually calling to see if she could direct me to a close-by store, where hopefully they could take the tag off. She gave me the names of three malls that were within 20 miles, and told me to call her so she could call the store managers and have them wait for me to come in. Unfortunately, I didn't have a car, and the hotel shuttle only had a 5-mile will-drive-you-for-free area. I could pay for a cab (there and back), or I could go to a nearby boutique mall (with store names like BCBG and Armani) and buy something else to where that probably wouldn't match the accessories I packed. ....sigh.

My ultimate decision? To wear the pants to the student reception, with some ingenious camouflage, and wear the dress the next day. In case you can't tell... yes, it's duct tape.