For those of you who don’t know what I do for a living, I work for a dentist who is an idol for many dentists around the nation. He lectures, teaches, publishes, films instructional DVDs, and occasionally sees patients. The primary focus of my job is selling the DVDs and courses we offer. I travel, usually once a month, to sell during meetings to doctors. I put together print ads and still frequently act as primary on the phones. I am constantly wearing different hats in the office. Lately, he’s had me working the front desk on patient days, because he wants someone who is friendly to interact with patients. Over the past 12 years, my job has run the gamut of picking up dry cleaning to designing our company website. It rarely gets dull.
Today, my boss comes to the doorways of my and my coworkers’ offices. He wanted to talk about his plans for our upcoming video filming, a DVD on preventing embezzlement in the dental office. DVDs are interesting to produce. They can get pretty boring if it’s just my boss being a talking head. To flesh out a concept, I’ve been dragged in before to act as a front desk person on camera, talking to a patient. I’ve sat in the dental chair with a stupid paper bib on and pantomimed asking questions to a dental assistant. I’ve demonstrated how to properly brush your teeth; and I’ve faked passing out for our medical emergency video. After watching these segments, I figure it was a pretty good thing I didn’t decide to be an actress. I can hardly keep a straight face.
Back to my boss – he wanted to know who would play the embezzler for the video. Toni will have to be the experienced office manager, so SHE can’t be the embezzler. Resounding silence in the office, then I open my big mouth and state I would do it if I got to wear a mask, like Hamburglar (back-in-the-day McD’s pop culture reference), or he would have to put up a message that says “not an actual embezzler”, because I may actually want a job in dentistry after this one, and my reputation doesn’t need knocking. Boss-man started laughing and said “Okay! Alycia will be our hot-looking embezzler.”
When will I ever learn?
On the plus side, boss-man said I should wear something really attractive and costly, as if I’m living outside the means of what my pay would be (a potential sign-post of an embezzler). I told I would be happy to get a new outfit and maybe a diamond tennis bracelet with matching earrings. He can expect me to submit the receipt next week. I told him that while we were at it, we should also get some footage of me driving his Porsche, so that it’s really apparent I’m living outside my means.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Calling Poison Control - Again
Pathetic? I prefer to call it being thorough.
Naomi has been suffering from allergies the last month. She had the same problem this time last year. We've tried various over-the-counter allergy medications with no success - Benedryl, Claritin, Zyrtec. I called the doctor, and he gave me a Rx for Singular, a 24-hour allergy pill. It has been more effective than the previously tried drugs; however, Naomi starts to sniffle within a couple hours of her next dose. I give it to her in the evening, thinking that she's at least inside when it starts to wear off.
Last night, I heard the familiar snuffling from Naomi as she finished up her dinner. I went to the cupboard, pulled out her bottle of pills and selected one pill. I placed the pill in front of her and told her to take her medicine and walked back to the cupboard to put away the pill bottle. An hour later, as the girls and I started our family home evening, I heard Naomi was still snuffling. "Did you take that pill like I told you?" I asked.
"What pill? You didn't give me a pill." replied Naomi. "Go to the table and take the pill I put by your plate" I told her.
Naomi goes to the table, and exclaims that there is no pill on it. I know I got her pill. We check the countertops, the floor, underneath a coloring book. I look at Charlotte - "Did you take Naomi's medicine?"
Nodding enthusiastically, Charlotte replies, "Yes, I ate the medicine. See I'm all better!" and she fake coughs. Sensing she might be in trouble, she added "I very sorry, mama."
Sean came home early, but had departed to go downstairs when we started our family home evening. Thinking he may be on the computer, I yelled at him to get me the number to poison control. Of course, he wants to know why. I explain about the pulling out a pill and putting it in front of Naomi, and Charlotte eating it. Sean yells, "how many were in the bottle?"
"What? Why do you want to know that?" I yell back (still upstairs, fishing my cell phone out). "Because they'll want to know how many pills were in the bottle! Poison control is going to ask you that!" Sean yells. "No, they won't!" I reply. "I've called poison control before, and they won't ask me that! Besides, I just told you, I know she only ate one pill."
By then, Sean is disgusted with me, because I have previously contacted poison control or because Charlotte didn't ingest an entire bottle of pills, I'm not sure. He tells me not to call poison control, that one over-the-counter dosage won't kill Charlotte. I told him it was a prescription, and it probably wouldn't hurt her, but I'd like to be sure. (The label on the bottle stated, "may cause drowsiness", and I had visions of a comatose Charlotte) I dialed the number and spoke to the operator. I gave him the dosage strength and told him my 3-year old swiped my 9-year old's allergy pill. He reassured me that Charlie would be fine. His notes stated that she could have taken up to 100 mg without any adverse effects. The pill she took was 5 mg.
I had a mommy-talk with Charlotte about taking medicine that was not for her. I don't think it sunk in.
What were the other times calling poison control? Naomi was still crawling and got into her diaper bag and drank half the bottle of a travel-size Purell hand sanitizer. Another time, was right after Heather had Luke. She was visiting me and Naomi got into Heather's diaper bag and opened a baggie of Tucks medicated pads. I'm not sure if she did put them in her mouth, but I thought her breath smelled like Tucks, so I called.
Just so you know, at the end of the call, the poison control operator asks for the child's first and last name, your last name, and your zip code. With the Purell incident, I asked if that meant they were sending the police after me for child abuse. The operator said it was just for their records. So far, the cops haven't come.
Naomi has been suffering from allergies the last month. She had the same problem this time last year. We've tried various over-the-counter allergy medications with no success - Benedryl, Claritin, Zyrtec. I called the doctor, and he gave me a Rx for Singular, a 24-hour allergy pill. It has been more effective than the previously tried drugs; however, Naomi starts to sniffle within a couple hours of her next dose. I give it to her in the evening, thinking that she's at least inside when it starts to wear off.
Last night, I heard the familiar snuffling from Naomi as she finished up her dinner. I went to the cupboard, pulled out her bottle of pills and selected one pill. I placed the pill in front of her and told her to take her medicine and walked back to the cupboard to put away the pill bottle. An hour later, as the girls and I started our family home evening, I heard Naomi was still snuffling. "Did you take that pill like I told you?" I asked.
"What pill? You didn't give me a pill." replied Naomi. "Go to the table and take the pill I put by your plate" I told her.
Naomi goes to the table, and exclaims that there is no pill on it. I know I got her pill. We check the countertops, the floor, underneath a coloring book. I look at Charlotte - "Did you take Naomi's medicine?"
Nodding enthusiastically, Charlotte replies, "Yes, I ate the medicine. See I'm all better!" and she fake coughs. Sensing she might be in trouble, she added "I very sorry, mama."
Sean came home early, but had departed to go downstairs when we started our family home evening. Thinking he may be on the computer, I yelled at him to get me the number to poison control. Of course, he wants to know why. I explain about the pulling out a pill and putting it in front of Naomi, and Charlotte eating it. Sean yells, "how many were in the bottle?"
"What? Why do you want to know that?" I yell back (still upstairs, fishing my cell phone out). "Because they'll want to know how many pills were in the bottle! Poison control is going to ask you that!" Sean yells. "No, they won't!" I reply. "I've called poison control before, and they won't ask me that! Besides, I just told you, I know she only ate one pill."
By then, Sean is disgusted with me, because I have previously contacted poison control or because Charlotte didn't ingest an entire bottle of pills, I'm not sure. He tells me not to call poison control, that one over-the-counter dosage won't kill Charlotte. I told him it was a prescription, and it probably wouldn't hurt her, but I'd like to be sure. (The label on the bottle stated, "may cause drowsiness", and I had visions of a comatose Charlotte) I dialed the number and spoke to the operator. I gave him the dosage strength and told him my 3-year old swiped my 9-year old's allergy pill. He reassured me that Charlie would be fine. His notes stated that she could have taken up to 100 mg without any adverse effects. The pill she took was 5 mg.
I had a mommy-talk with Charlotte about taking medicine that was not for her. I don't think it sunk in.
What were the other times calling poison control? Naomi was still crawling and got into her diaper bag and drank half the bottle of a travel-size Purell hand sanitizer. Another time, was right after Heather had Luke. She was visiting me and Naomi got into Heather's diaper bag and opened a baggie of Tucks medicated pads. I'm not sure if she did put them in her mouth, but I thought her breath smelled like Tucks, so I called.
Just so you know, at the end of the call, the poison control operator asks for the child's first and last name, your last name, and your zip code. With the Purell incident, I asked if that meant they were sending the police after me for child abuse. The operator said it was just for their records. So far, the cops haven't come.
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