Theory of Large Fruit

I have a theory.  If any large fruit – watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew – enters my home whole, no one will eat it until the aforementioned fruit is cut up, either in slices or bite-size portions.  That makes sense.  Who would pick up and take a bite out of a whole watermelon?  However, I should clarify.  Based on many years of experience, I have come to believe I’m the only one who can cut up large fruit in my home.

When Charlotte asks for cantaloupe as we run through Costco, I think, “Do I have time to slice and cut up 3 melons before they will go bad?”  If the answer is no, I don’t buy the cantaloupes.   It’s not a huge deal to cut up fruit, but it usually takes a while, and is a minor mess to clean up.  I’d rather just eat a nice apple, plum, nectarine, pear, maybe a handful of grapes, strawberries or raspberries – any of nature’s more convenient single-portion fruits.

About 3 weeks ago, I came home to find a pineapple on my counter.  Sean had gone to the store.  He purchased various items, like red cabbage, kale, purple cauliflower - I don’t buy those items since I prefer to eat things that don’t stink up the house – and a pineapple.

Now, this didn’t start out as an experiment to prove any theory.  I have a busy life. I also figured that since Sean bought the pineapple, he had a purpose for the pineapple.  After a week and a half, Sean moved the pineapple from the counter to the fridge.  It’s now been in the fridge for over a week. 

Every time I open the fridge, I look at the stupid pineapple taking up half a shelf and wonder, is this thing going to get eaten before it goes bad?  I could just pull it out and slice it up, but my hands are suffering from the winter weather combined with a half-dozen paper cuts. I’m not enthusiastic about cutting up the pineapple and suffering the consequences.  So it sits. In the fridge.  Proving my theory.  I am the only fruit-cutting ninja in our home.